


Come take my heart of glass

by notquitecreative



Series: I thee wed [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comedy, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Aang/Katara, Misunderstandings, Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), zuko is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 00:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20055301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notquitecreative/pseuds/notquitecreative
Summary: Zuko had been with Aang for two years now, and he still wasn’t sure what Aang liked him for. He hadn’t exactly been the best person initially and even though he was trying very hard to change, old habits died hard. But Aang has been keeping things from him lately, and Zuko finds it rather hard to believe that they were innocent secrets.Maybe this relationship has been too good to be true after all. Nothiing ever lasts, why did he think this would be different?





	1. Glass heart

**Author's Note:**

> All of the characters at this point in the story are adults.  
A short, two part story about Zukaang and misunderstandings.

Zuko had been with Aang for two years now, and he still wasn’t sure what Aang liked him for. He hadn’t exactly been the best person initially and even though he was trying very hard to change, old habits died hard. He never wanted to argue with Aang, but they couldn’t always agree on everything, and occasionally, a simple discussion on politics would turn into an argument, and Aang would fly away, leaving Zuko to stew in his own anger. These episodes didn’t last very long, however, as a trip to the turtleduck pond always calmed him down and Aang would come back and they would kiss under the cherry blossoms, forgetting what it is that had even started the argument.

Also, he was always busy. Aang on his part was also a very occupied person and with their respective duties to the people resting on their shoulders, they would sometimes not see each other for weeks, when Aang’s work took him all corners of the globe and Zuko would travel within the fire nation to settle its issues.

But lately, Aang seemed even more distracted than usual. His mind was elsewhere when they ate together and he accidentally picked up a piece of meat without realizing until Zuko told him to snap out of it. Horrified, Aang immediately placed the food in Zuko’s rice bowl and grinned sheepishly.

“What were you thinking about? Your head’s in the clouds. Even more so than usual, and that’s saying something.” Zuko commented, but Aang looked downwards and gave a nervous laugh, rubbing his neck.

“Ih, I was just thinking about something funny Sokka had said.” He replied.

He was lying. Zuko knew because Mai, a gambling expert, had taught him that people had tells when they were bluffing, and over the years, Zuko had ascertained Aang’s to be rubbing his neck. It was such an obvious tell that even an idiot could see it. But he decided not to question further, and they ate their meal in relative silence as was fast becoming the norm in their relationship. Zuko wished he had something to say at the dinner table, but they had agreed not to talk about politics and that was all he dealt with all day. Most of the time, zuko would try to coax a story of his travels out of Aang, even though Aang didn’t need much coaxing.

That night, Zuko made another attempt to bring Aang out of his reverie.

“Well, the lantern festival is approaching” Zuko started, looking out at the window, where the stars were glimmering over the fire nation capital. When their relationship was new, they liked to sit precariously out over the roof spires and talk for hours, but Zuko thought that things weren’t half so exciting now.

“Hmm?” Aang asked, biting his lip as he inspected a note that was brought over by messenger hawk over dinner.

“The lantern festival. We’ll light the first lantern this year too, won’t we?” Zuko asked, as was the tradition.

“Hmm…. Oh.” Aang said. “I actually have somewhere to go first. But maybe I’ll make it… I don’t know.” Aang rolled up the letter, and tucked it into his bag, looking up at Zuko properly for the first time. “Katara said she’s coming over in a week, do you think you could spare a room?”

“Of course. Why even ask?” Zuko said, shrugging. It wasn’t peculiar for their friends to visit him, and he always offered them the best of fire nation hospitality, as Aang grinned, and began penning a letter back.

“By herself?” Zuko asked, raising an eyebrow. “What about Sokka?”

“Sokka’s busy. I actually asked her over to help me with something.” Aang said.

“With what?”

“Er…. Nothing important.” Aang said sheepishly, rubbing his neck again. Zuko walked over to the letter-writing table, and Aang immediately rolled up the scroll as if he didn’t want Zuko to see what he was writing about.

“What’s with all the secrecy?” Zuko asked in bewilderment as he wrapped his arms around Aang’s lean shoulders from behind him. Aang felt warm and familiar in his arms, and he liked the feeling.

Zuko had to admit he always wanted to know what Aang was doing, where he was going, and who he was with, but he also believed in giving his significant other their personal space and he made it a point to always respect their privacy. He never looked into Aang’s letters, he never enquired too much about how Aang spent his time, and Aang in return, never kept things secret from him. Aang with his bubbly personality, and his tendency to talk too much, could never keep a secret if he tried.

Except for now.

Aang just chuckled, folding the letter and putting it out of Zuko’s reach.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Aang replied, “Let’s get to bed, shall we?”

Aang gave him a kiss, and Zuko put the matter out of his mind, because it didn’t really matter much, now that they were together, and he didn’t have to sleep in a cold empty bed alone anymore. He always loved it when Aang came back, and wished he didn’t have to go away so often.

Katara made good her promise, and she arrived at the capital a week after on ship. They welcomed her at the port, and Aang gave her a big hug. Zuko welcomed her to the palace, and gave her a large luxurious room to sleep in. They spent a day visiting sightseeing spots around the capital, and Zuko enjoyed finding an excuse to find time off away from his council members, his advisors and his problems.

That morning, they visited a nice grassy knoll which offered a spectcular view of the fire nation's many dormant volcanoes. They were purple and blue in the distance, and the air was cool and crisp under the morning's sun rays.

Leaving Katara and Aang alone atop a grassy hill where they sat enjoying the view under flowery blossoms, Zuko took a short walk to a nearby spring to refill their waterskins. By the time he got back, he saw that they were so engrossed in conversation they didn’t even hear him return.

“So you haven’t told him yet?” Katara asked.

“No!” Aang retorted, putting his hands over his cheeks in anguish. “I haven’t. I ugh… we’ve never really even discussed it.”

Katara gave him a whithering look.

“I thought you already did- that’s why you wrote me that letter-“

“No! No, listen, I need your help.” Aang said, putting his hand on her shoulders, looking at her seriously. “I’ve actually thought about how I would go about doing all of it, but I need your advice-“

At the sight of Zuko approaching, they abruptly ended their conversation. Aang quickly looked away, pretending to be inspecting a nearby pebble. Zuko raised his eyebrow.

“Is…. Everything alright?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” Aang said, rubbing his neck and whistling. “hey do you see that butterfly over there? The colors are so pretty!”

“Aang….” Zuko said, standing there holding the waterskins, and not buying any of it. “You know you’re terrible at keeping secrets?”

Aang paled, and gulped. “Um… I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

Zuko sighed and sat cross-legged on the grass. “If you have a problem, then you can talk to me. Maybe I can help you with it.”

“Um…. Thanks, zuko but this is….. er… something you can’t help me with.”

Zuko wanted to ask why it was that Katara can help but he couldn’t, but realized that he was usually very hot-headed and didn’t have much tact. It made sense katara could probably empathize with whatever Aang was going through.

“Even so…” Zuko said tentatively. “don’t I deserve to know…. what’s going on?”

“Erm…” Aang fiddled with his thumbs. “you’ll know. In due time.”

Zuko cast a look between Aang, who was looking at the grass, to Katara who was pointedly looking away, and felt his anger rising up, just a little. He tried to swallow it. 

Zuko counted his breaths. He shouldn't really overreact at tiny matters like this. How long had they been together now? He trusted Aang, and whatever it is that they're not telling him Aang must have good reason not to let him in the know. 

“Okay. That’s fine… I guess.”

“Haha… yeah.” Aang said.

That night at dinner, Aang broke the news to Zuko that Sokka and Toph were coming to the festival, but he and Katara were leaving for Yu Dao shortly. Zuko, the morning’s matter still on his mind, couldn’t help it. All his previous reasoning forgotten, he immediately felt the heat rise to his head and lost his temper

“That doesn’t even make any sense! You should at least stay for the festival and meet Toph and Sokka before you go!” Zuko said heatedly pointing his chopsticks at Aang who looked panicked.

“Um…. It’s important.”

“If whatever you’re doing is so important, why can’t I come along?” Zuko yelled, exploding.

“Um… because… because… Katara, tell him why he can’t.” Aang looked helplessly to Katara.

“Don’t drag me into this.” Katara said, raising her hands in a long-suffering way. “Fix your own problems.”

Zuko slammed his chopsticks down angrily, and left the table, leaving Aang sitting there in silence.

When he returned to his room, he immediately felt the regret. He was being childish again, and overreacting. That was an immature move. It was a little stupid for him to get jealous of how Aang trusted Katara more than he did Zuko. How long had they been dating, him and Aang? How long had they been friends with Katara? Far too long for this pettiness.

As Zuko watched the stars from the balcony, feeling the chilly breeze play about his face, he felt his anger leaving him, little by little. He closed his eyes and sighed, thinking he should probably apologize for making such a scene at dinner, especially when Katara was there, but he heard a door slide open, and soft footsteps approaching him.

“Aang?” He asked into the darkness, turning around.

“Zuko, I um… I’m sorry.” Aang said, shuffling his feet.

“No, I’m sorry for blowing up like that. You…. You should have your own space, I don’t need to know everything.” Zuko replied. “I just…. Wish I could help you, is all.”

“I know.” Aang said, wrapping his arms around him. Oh dragons, Aang's arms felt so comforting to him, in a time like this “Let’s call it a truce.”

Zuko was very happy to, especially when Aang was so close to him, he could count all his eyelashes and the way his fingers were wandering around Zuko’s midriff, making him realize exactly what he wanted. It had been rather too long. He really needed to feel Aang’s warm pulse on his skin again. Diatribes were the usual after all, and all of that paled in comparison to how good Aang’s lips felt against his.

Yes, he had missed this, he thought, as the two of them moved towards the bed entangled in each other's limbs. All of arguments and the suspision was soon forgotten, as Aang's fingers on his hands were warm, and Aang's breath on his lips felt like home.

“Say- for example- someone I know-“ Zuko started as he sat at the little noodle shop with Sokka. Sokka had been gorging himself on fire nation food ever since he arrived, and Zuko had taken him to his favourite fire noodle shop in exchange for some advice.

“Not me of course-“ Zuko said, looking away, but Sokka seemed none the wiser as he slurped his noodles with gusto.

“Man- these noodles are delicious!” Sokka said, sighing as he finished his bowl. “Can we get some rice-wine over here? Thanks.” He called out to the shopkeep, who was happy to oblige. Zuko bit his lip. Sokka had become a trustworthy friend to him, and someone who shared his love for fire noodles, which made him the perfect candidate to resound thoughts off of.

“Someone close to me is having er…. Relationship issues.”

“You have come to the right person!’ Sokka said, clapping his hands on Zuko’s shoulders. “They call me the master of relationships!”

Zuko wanted to point out that he had just recently broken up with Suki, but then decided not to pour salt into the wound, so continued on his tangent.

“Say, that that person…. has a lover. And that lover is keeping secrets from him.”

“Hmm… what sort of secrets?”

“Say, for example, they don’t let you look through their letters. They go on trips with someone else, and they won’t tell him why. They’re so obviously lying about something, but they’ll deflect any questions he has- that sort of thing.”

Sokka put his hand on his chin and paused, as the shopkeeper laid down the cups of rice wine in front of them, with the bottle. Sokka poured out the rice wine for Zuko, and sighed.

“Sounds like this person might be cheating on him.”

“What?” Zuko spluttered, choking out the rice wine. This was not the answer he had expected to hear, but Sokka didn't seem to be joking. in fact he was solemn and serious as he used his chopsticks to pick at the pickled radishes. “Why- "Zuko asked, his throat dry, "why would you think that?”

“I mean, this is just a hypothesis. But keeping secrets is never a good thing- open communication is very crucial to relationships.”

“I know that.” Zuko sighed. “but –“

“Sometimes… relationships just don’t work man. No matter how hard you try.” Sokka looked a little sadly down at his own cup. “Even if you thought they were the one. Even if both of you wanted so hard for it to work, but people, especially two people who are constantly busy on different parts of the world- cannot find time for each other, you lose the spark that made you so attracted to each other in the first place. Suddenly you’re all stressed and angry at each other, and yelling and saying things you don’t mean, and they leave you for good.”

Zuko felt his heart grew leaden, but at the same time, he knew Sokka wasn’t just talking about a hypothetical situation anymore. He poured Sokka a drink instead.

“I’m sorry about Suki.” Zuko said, patting him on the shoulder, as Sokka looked a little teary-eyed. “But sometimes things happen for a reason. I’m sure things will look up for you soon.”

Sokka ended up being the one needing comforting that evening as he told Zuko all about the complications that arose with Suki tearfully, tongue loosened by rice-wine. In the end, they sang songs, talked far too much, and got kicked out of the noodle shop at midnight, at which point, they somehow carried each other back to the palace.

It was only when Zuko came back to his bedchambers that he remembered the reason he posed Sokka his question.

The thought that Aang was cheating on him seemed utterly ridiculous- Aang was not the sort of person to cheat, and the fact that he could be cheating on him with Katara was even more ridiculous. “It just couldn’t be.” Zuko said to himself in the large, empty room as he stumbled around, trying to find his night clothes in the dark, trying to change. The moonlight’s paleness crept in through the windows, and he thought he saw a shadow across the floor. Zuko whirled around, expecting to see Aang flying in through the windows and putting Zuko’s fears to rest, but it turned out to be just a curtain fluttering in the wind.

_Aang wouldn’t leave me_, Zuko thought, pouring himself a drink of water as he crawled into bed. _Or would he? _

Things had been going far too well for perhaps too long? Zuko had never been that lucky. The things that Zuko held in his hands always crumbled to dust in his grasp- nothing good would ever last. Perhaps Aang had long since come to the realization that staying with Zuko was just weighing him down, perhaps he has now learnt to reach for better things. Perhaps Aang just couldn’t find the words to tell him, because of how inherently good he is.

But if Aang was dissatisfied with Zuko, he had never expressed it. This was just him thinking to much. Zuko rolled over in bed, and tried to shut out his invasive thoughts.

_But think about it,_ they said. _What do you think Aang likes you for? Not your personality surely? Do you think you know his mind? Do you?_

This was bad. Giving in to these thoughts was a terrible idea, because they always seemed to want to overflow and flood him, like a broken dam. There was also several thoughts he had kept at bay by simply being in denial about them, but they always tended to break out at times, like wild animals.

_If he thinks he likes you for your hot-headedness and stubbornness, you must be truly stupid. Truly, truly, stupid. _

Ugh. Zuko squeezed his eyes shut and tried even harder tto go tto sleep, and it felt as if the world was spinning around him.

_You know that thing you don’t want to think about-_

Shut up-

_That thing you never want to think about-_

Shut up-

_You’re just a passing fancy. A night-stop on his never-ending journey and someday he’ll leave for something better, somewhere out there. You know you can never give him what he really wants. He’s the last of his people and you can never give him children. All the airbenders will be a forgotten relic if he stays with you. _

But he knew that. Is it really Zuko's fault if he just wanted to delay the inevitable?

_At this point, you’re the one in denial if you think he hasn’t already made the decision already, and just can’t think of a way to break it to you gently. Because you know, he's the sort of person who would let you down gently._

“You haven’t told him?” Katara’s voice seemed to resound in his dreams.

Aang’s shoulders drooped. “I can’t bring myself to do it.”

“Open communication is important between lovers.” Sokka pointed out, distantly, voice echoing.

“I know-“ Aang spoke, his voice breaking. “I need to tell him I don’t want to be with him anymore-“

Zuko found himself crying. His chest ached with inexplicable pain, he could barely breathe. He wanted to tell Aang to stay and to cite all the reasons why he should reconsider, but his throat felt too tight and his tongue was heavy. And slowly, Aang’s figure began to disappear into the mist. And Zuko knew, Aang was gone for good.

“Well you two sound fucking awful.” Toph commented at breakfast as she wolfed down her bao with pea filliing.

“Hangover.” Sokka groaned as he put his head in his hands. “I should not have drank that much- why didn’t you stop me?” Sokka accused Zuko.

Zuko did have a good’s night sleep but he wasn’t energized for some reason. He just wanted to crawl back into bed and shut out the world. Sokka’s words had really fucked with him, and he couldn’t stop thinking, fearing that every moment he would now spend with Aang would be his last. His throat grew tight at the thought.

“I don’t feel good either.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Sokka said.

Zuko ate in silence as Sokka and Toph discussed trying to find more space rock in the fire nation, in order for Sokka to make his new sword and for Toph to find more metal bending students, and Zuko made an excuse not to accompany them, saying he was just going to nurse his hangover in bed.

Maybe with some tea and some peace, he might be able to think things through properly. He wished he could talk to his uncle so that he would feel better, but his uncle was too far away to ask for guidance. He asked the servants for a pot of tea and to leave him alone after sorting out some issues with organizing the festival, and left most of it to an advisor.

As he paced across his room, feeling frustrated, telling himself he was just overthinking things and his relationship with Aang was just fine, his eyes fell across his writing table, and he knelt down in front of it, reminiscing of all the letters they’ve ever written each other. Zuko walked over to a cupboard and pulled out a box in which he kept all of Aang’s letters hastily scribbled in graphite on any piece of paper Aang could get his hands on wherever he was in the world. They told him of many adventures, of people in trouble, of Aang doing his best to help them, of terrific dangers and incredible sights. And in all of them, Aang would sign his letters with ‘love’.

Zuko stared at the letters for a long time, and again those intrusive thoughts struck him despite the fact that he was completely sober.

_What if Aang signed his letters the same way when he wrote to other people? What if Zuko wasn’t special at all?_

“This is ridiculous.” He said aloud. “I’m going insane.”

Well, not for the first time, Zuko knew, but waiting and wondering wasn’t going to give him any answers and was only going to make him feel worse. He needed definitive proof that Aang didn’t have anything to hide from him. And he knew just the person to ask.

By midday Toph and Sokka had returned from the metalbending workshops, satisfied and Zuko cornered Toph after dinner, explaining his situation. He knew he had to be more honest with her, because she would see through him right away, but this also resulted in him having to be more honest than he would have liked.

Toph smirked. “You’re really obsessed with Twinkle toes, aren’t you?”

Zuko felt the heat rush to his face as he tried to explain the smaller woman, “It’s not that I’m obsessed- I just – I feel as if I’m missing something. I don’t like not knowing things, especially if my happiness depended on it.”

Toph crossed her arms and took hold of his arm as they walked through the palace gardens. “Look, I’ll be honest, I think you’re completely overreacting. I know Twinkle Toes and he’s not the kind of person to break hearts, if he can help it. He just doesn’t have it in him.”

“I know what you mean, and I’m not suggesting that he’s ….” Zuko didn’t really want to say it, but he had to, “… cheating, or anything. I just-“ Why was this so hard to say out loud? “ People change their minds. They don’t always like the same thing, all the time. So I was just wondering if – maybe he’s changed his mind after all.”

Toph didn’t say anything for a long time, and she punched him on the shoulder without warning. “All right, I’ll help you out.”

Zuko massaged the spot where she’d hit him (her punches were painful) and managed a small grateful smile. “Thanks, Toph, I owe you one.”

“Anytime” she smiled. 

When Aang came back from his trip, he was grinning wide from ear to ear that was so reminiscent of his childhood days that Zuko couldn’t help but smile as well, almost forgetting everything he’d been fretting over. The festival was about to start, and his attendants had already helped him into his ceremonial attire, which he was getting quite used to, even though they could be a little uncomfortable. He was getting Toph and Sokka change into their fire nation robes as well, as several attendents assisted them in putting them on.

“hey!” Aang said, tumbling into the room through the window in the usual way. His servants were all so used to the act that they quietly made their leave, leaving the outer ceremonial robe unfolded so Zuko could put it on by himself.

“How was the trip? Fruitful?” Zuko enquired. 

“Very.” Aang said, grinning, as he put down his shouldered cloth sack. Katara alighted next to him. “Thank goodness I was just in time to get the-“ He paused, and then rubbed the back of his head. “I mean- help those people out with their spirit trouble, right Katara?”

Katara completely ignored him and instead poured herself a cup of tea from the table. Aang laughed nervously.

“Anyways, I can’t wait for the festival.”

“Great. We’ll light the lanterns like last year I s-“

“Actually, no I have a thing to do.”

“Again? Didn’t you already do the thing?”

“It’s another thing!”

Aang glared at Aang, feeling his anger rear its ugly head again. As much as he has been meditating these days to keep his anger in check old habits died hard and he was severely tempted to yell at Aang, or combust into flames. Instead he did neither, breathed deeply and spoke.

“Right. So be it.” Zuko said, turning away. “I suppouse I’ll see you after the speech?”

“Yes. Yes you will.” Aang said mechanically. Zuko raised his eyebrow but said nothing more, instead turning to Katara to tell her if she’d like to change into her robes also. He made small talk with Sokka and Toph about them struggling into their robes, and their banter did relieve his worries somewhat as Aang suspisciously took no part in this, except to shuffle his feet while holding his bagpack, refusing to let go of it. As they were finished outfitting, he promised he would meet them outside, to have a private word with Aang. Aang looked a little worried, but said nothing as they left, Toph giving Zuko a knowing look before she did.

Zuko sighed, knowing Toph would be waiting just outside the door. He tried to turn his attention back onto Aang who was rearranging the flowers in the vase by the nightstand, seemingly out of a lack of tthings to do. Zuko, for some reason, felt so terribly alone in the room, as he stared at Aang’s back his collar rumpled from the wind and his skin a little tan from the sun.

His worry that Aang would leave him at first seemed ridiculous and in the same vein of intrusive thoughts as the random thoughts you get such as “what if I jumped off this building?” or “What if my friends never liked me?” However, they were slowly but surely growing into actual fears that seemed to be backed in ever more increasing evidence. For once, he wished Aang would look at him. Just face him. The way he always did in the past, all wide eyes and wide welcoming arms he had found a quiet sanctuary in, but was it temporary?

He steeled himself and cleared his throat,

“Aang, if there’s anything…. Anything wrong with us, you’d tell me?”

“What do you mean?” Aang asked, tilting his head, confused, twisting his head to look at him.

“Like… if any time in the near future you –“ Zuko couldn’t bring himself to say _no longer wanted to be with me_ as if saying them would make them somehow manifest, like a curse. “We’re no longer the way we used to be and you felt as if … as if you want a change.”

Aang’s eyes widened. He licked his lips nervously. 

“Hmm? Of course I’d tell you. Ahaha. Why would I keep secrets?” Aang replied, his eyes a little too narrow when he laughed. “Anyways, did I mention you look great in that outfit? Because you look amazing in that outfit. Is this new?” He immediately walked over and put an arm around Zuko’s shoulder. His face was so close, Zuko could count the sun-browned freckles on his skin, his button nose brushing against Zuko’s.

“mm” Zuko replied.

“Must be.” Aang said, pressing a kiss on Zuko’s lips before pulling away, his arms trailing over Zuko’s fingers before he let go. Zuko’s fingers instinctively followed them before dropping down his sides when he remembered himself.

“Anyways, I’m going to get ready. You should probably head down to the courtyard as well.” Aang replied, looking out at the window. “Seems like there’s going to be a real crowd tonight.”

As it’s always been, Zuko wanted tto add, but only just nodded. He left Aang in the room as he left it, and found Toph leaning against the wall. She looked down at the ground, and said in a quiet voice.

“He’s lying.”

Zuko’s heart plummeted. For a moment he wondered if Toph was joking just to get to him, but there wasn’t a single trace of mirth on her features, and she stared into space with her cold green eyes, with her arms crossed, keeping silent instead of jibing him, as if giving him a moment to take it in.

Take it in?

How could he?

He struggled to keep control of his emotions, he couldn’t really break down in front of her right now, but what else is there to do except despair? His breath hitched in his throat and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe.

“Thanks for letting me know.” he uttered, his voice sounding unnaturally strangled, but he couldn’t help it.

Toph nodded, and for the first time, reached out with one arm and gave him what could be considered a hug by Toph standards, but was actually a sort of intimate pat on the back. He suppoused this was her way of showing support, and he was grateful for it, he couldn’t adequately express it now. he touched her on the arm to express his gratefulness, and walked down the steps, wishing he didn’t have impending repsonsibilites in front of him so he could reign in his emotions better, but there were things to do, speeches to give and festivals to officially start.

But what did any of that matter, when the person he thought was his only solace was leaving him?

It washed over him again, and this time there was a sharp spike of physical pain in the centre of his chest, as if his heart truly had broken. He leaned against the wall for support, to catch his breath, out of sight of everyone else, and swallowed a sob.

Oh no.

Now that he’s known what so much love and affection could feel like, how was he ever going to live without it now?

He had spent so much time being happy and safe and content, he had grown soft. Now that the cold hard world seemed to loom in his near future, he wasn’t prepared for it. Aang had always been there with his warm laugh and the way he always seemed to know what to say after a difficult day and the way his eyelashes brushed against Zuko’s cheek when he nuzzled against him, the way his body felt so warm on cold days, the way Zuko could smell the wind on his clothes – all of that was slipping through his fingers like quicksand.

No – this couldn’t be happening.

But really, why did he ever think otherwise? Why did he ever think that he, Zuko, would get, or even deserve a happy ending. This was old news, all of this bad luck had dogged him since his childhood, there was no skirting his fate, and his fate seemed to decree that he would always be miserable.

He had been so delusional. He was always the unwanted child, the disappointment, the one who was never picked first, the one being left behind, the one who had made so many terrible choices and had to work so hard to redeem himself. Why would anyone want to spend the rest of their life with him?

But even so, was it really so much to ask for? For a little glimpse of happiness? When Zuko closed his eyes, he could almost see sunlight shining through the thick curtains, moving lazily in the morning sun, Aang waking him with a soft finger that tucked his hair behind his ear. Will he never wake to such happiness again?

“Firelord Zuko? The people await.” One of his councilors reminded him and he blinked away his tears as he realized he was still standing in the middle of the corridor. A few guards were looking at him in concern as his emotions spiraled out of control. Outside, in the courtyard he could already hear a large festive crowd conversing, talking and laughing, ready for him to give his speech. He balled his fingers into fists and steeled himself.

“Of course.” He replied, and walked out onto the raised platform to give his address.

As soon as he stepped out, he could hear the cheers of a few hundred citizens milling in the palace courtyard as bright lanterns and colorful decorations were placed everywhere. Paper dragons danced in the wind, and the smell of burning wax filled the air in a pleasant way.

“People of the fire nation.” He spoke, after a drumbeat that helped to quiet the crowd somewhat. The people paused to listen to him, and he could even see some toddlers waving at him from their parent’s shoulders.

“Another year has come and gone, and I hope it has been a fruitful year for all of you. We’ve worked hard and we’ve struggled for us to get to where we are but the seasons will continue changing whether we want them to or not.” He said, trailing off his voice breaking. He paused, trying to get a grip before he humiliated himself. Remembering what he was doing, he continued, “But this is a new year, and today is an auspicious day. We mark the end of the old, the arrival of the new, and I hope that it brings good luck and prosperity to all of the citizens of the firenaion. Let this new year be filled with light and love!”

His speech was met with resounding cheers, applause and hoots as a servant handed him a paper lantern that was already lit, its belly filled with hot air and raring to lift off towards the night sky. Zuko distinctly remembered setting off the first lantern with Aang last year, Aang’s face lit by the lantern’s yellow glow as he smiled softly across at Zuko.

Seeing only darkness on the other side, Zuko raised the lantern and let it float towards the night sky.

Fireworks erupted into the air, bombarding the sky with color, light, and sounds. The festival had officially begun.

And Zuko was utterly heartbroken.


	2. Give me your love

When Aang found Zuko back in his chambers, he looked…. Awful? This was saying something because the firelord looked incredible at any given moment. Zuko, instead of his proud, regal self is a little hunched over. His eyes looked downcast and his lips are pale. Aang wondered if he had caught a fever during his absence, and he quickly crossed the room to place a hand on Zuko’s forehead. 

“You’re not sick are you?’ He asked, as Zuko stepped away from him. 

“No.” Zuko replied quietly, and Aang knew something was off. This was bad, because he had an elaborate plan that he had been setting up for several days and he hadn’t accounted for this. Should he go ahead with his scheme or should he wait? Aang bit his lip, trying not to give anything away, even as his heart thundered in his chest at the fact that in his pocket lay a very precious object that he had worked so hard to obtain. 

“You’re not heating up at least.” Aang decided, and paused as Zuko looked away from him. “Maybe you’re just tired. You tend to overwork yourself a lot, when I’m not here. You need to take care of yourself more.” Aang instinctively raised a hand to touch Zuko’s face, but Zuko’s hands caught his in midair. 

“You’re right.” He said at length. “I’m just tired.” 

He really looked tired. His eyes in particular seemed tired, and had lost a little bit of its glimmer that Aang had always thought looked like bright flames in the candlelight. Zuko was so beautiful, Aang wondered sometimes how such a person could even exist. The way he stood there in his expensive royal robes, his hair pinned up in a gold ornament and half of his hair hanging down his shoulders against his pale throat, Aang felt it a personal duty to bring that glimmer back into his eyes. 

“That’s a shame.” Aang said. “because I had such a nice dinner planned.” Aang replied, grinning. 

“Aang… I-“ 

Aang didn’t wait for his answer as he grabbed Zuko by the arm. “Come with me!” 

Zuko unwittingly followed, and Aang dragged him out onto one of the flatter rooftops, where he had prepared a low table with a red tablecloth, the place illuminated by paper lanters. Below them, there were lanterns and fireworks as the people enjoyed the colourful festival. The stars were shining in the sky, and the moon shone down on them, while a cool breeze played against their clothes. 

Aang sat Zuko down opposite him and poured him a ceramic cup of rice wine of a brand that Zuko loved. On the table, Aang had prepared all of Zuko’s favourite fire nation foods illuminated by yellow candlelight. Flame of the forest blossoms spilled from the vase that served as a centerpiece like a cascade of red. Aang watched Zuko’s reaction carefully, feeling nervous and excited all at once, hoping he would like what Aang had done for him. 

Zuko did seem to be surprised, but didn’t voice any of his opinions as he sat down. Looking up at Aang, he raised an eyebrow. 

“Do you like it?” Aang asked. 

“Why here?" 

“I thought it’d be nice.” Aang said, leaning back. “We can see all the lanterns from up here.” Aang said, pointing at an array of lanterns that were bobbing up towards the night sky. “Look at those! I’ve never seen those colors on lanterns before!” 

Zuko watched where he was pointing wordlessly, and a glassy look overcame him. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“What kind of question is that? Why shouldn’t I be nice to you?” Aang laughed, but Zuko had a point. There was a purpose to all this. Maybe Zuko is much more perceptive than Aang gave him credit for. “To be honest, I brought you out here for a reason. There’s something important I have to say.” 

Zuko quietly drank his wine, and placed the cup carefully back on the table. Even so, Aang could see his fingers trembling as the wine cup almost toppled over on the red tablecloth. Aang furrowed his brow. 

“Zuko, are you all right?” Aang asked in concern. 

“I’m fine.” Zuko said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. 

“Well, I was just-“ Aang started, but couuldn’t bring himself to continue, because things were not going as planned. Zukoo didn’t look happy att all. In fact, Aang doubted that he was even paying attention to what he was saying. He frowned at the table, looking…. Dejected? Why? Had Aang done something wrong?

“Aang.” Zuko started, and this time, his voice had a raw tone of vulnerability to it. “I -I don’t want to hear what you have to say.” 

Aang had no idea how to approach, because he had no idea what Zuko was talking about. Had Zuko actually figured his plan out? But it was impossible! He had taken great pains so that Zuko wouldn’t notice, but if he did… was he saying that he… 

“I don’t – I don’t want you to leave.” Zuko said, his voice low and sounding broken. 

Aang furrowed his eyebrows for a moment. In the distance there was a dissonant boom of fireworks erupting in the sky and Aang blinked, trying to figure out what the hell was going on and why Zuko was hunched over his cup of wine, biting his lip, his scar lines wrinkled as his eyebrows scrunched. 

“Where would I be leaving exactly?” Aang asked, utterly lost. “Am I –“ Aang scratched his head. “Going somewhere? That’s news to me.” 

Zuko looked up, disbelief on his features. “Don’t play dumb. I know you’ve been lying to me all this time. You –“ He paused, as he took a deep breath. “You’re a terrible liar. And I hate that you’re tiptoing around this issue, pretending nothing’s wrong. Because if something’s wrong you should say so! Instead of having me believe everything was fine-“ 

“Wait- wait.” Aang held up his hands, and grasped Zuko’s hands that had been motioning more agitatedly as he spoke. “What are you going on about?”

“I’m older than you are.” Zuko finally mananged to hiss through his teeth, glaring at him with his burning yellow eyes. Aang had seen Zuko angry too many times to count, but as he grew older, he no longer flew into flights of fury as often as he did so when he was a teen. And even if he did he usually gained control of himself and never had any lasting grudges against each other. However, this ttime, he could tell Zuko was genuinely upset, from glint of his eyes and from the curve of his lips. Also there was also a hint of pain in his voice that made his outburst sound even more hurt. 

“I can handle rejection. Don’t treat me like a child! If you really wanted to leave me, you can say it to my face.” 

Then all of it began to make sense as Zuko breathed heavily and Aang finally understood. 

“You thought I was saying goodbye? What gave you that thought?” Aang asked, scandalized. “First of all, what?” He said, raising his arms in the air in utter disbelief. “Second of all, why” he groaned in frustration “and third of all, What?”

“Aren’t you- you’re not?”

“Of course I’m not

“But – but you were acting so mysteriously and Sokka said…. And I asked Toph and she was –“ Zuko stammered. 

“You were asking relationship advice from Sokka and Toph???” Aang asked incredulously. 

“Actually, when you put it like that- but I had my reasons-“ 

“Flying hogmonkeys!” Aang said, putting his head in his hands. This was not where he was expecting the evening to go. Nothing could have gone worse. He can’t remember a time when he had been this curt and rude to Zuko, but this time he felt it was deserved. Zuko sat in a state of shock as if he had been told his mother was a giant lionturtle. He sighed. Aang bypassed the table he had painstakingly set and came down on the other side of the table to sit in front of Zuko. 

“I’m sorry.” Aang said finally. “I apologize for making you feel this way. I realize that in retrospect the way I’ve been acting was somewhat suspicious.” 

“Somewhat?” Zuko asked, arching an eyebrow. 

“Alright. But you’re also a little paranoid.” 

“It’s my job to be paranoid.” Zuko retorted, glaring and Aang realized he was right. It was even more true since he became firelord. Ruling a nation wasn’t an easy task, and it was even harder during the early days of his ascension when assisins were constantly trying to kill him in his sleep. Zuko has had to learn very fast how to read people and judge them accordingly, so he couldn’t really fault Zuko for that. 

“I’m sorry. It’s worse that I’m always away, isn’t it?” Aang asked sadly. Aang always hated having to leave for his missions, just as much as Zuko, but it couldn't really be helped. They both had their duties to the world, which came before their personal lives. 

Zuko looked away, as if not wanting to admit to it, but Aang could see how flustered he seemed, even at this age, even after all the years of being together. “I can survive on my own. We’ve always functioned independently perfectly fine anyways.” 

“We have.” Aang smiled softly. “I’ve always thought that was great. I’ve always thought – that we’re destined to be.” Aang said, unable to help himself. Zuko watched him continue on his new tangent with mild curiousty and amusement as Aang barged on, “Remember how the 100 year war ended with our animosity? We ended the war. The two of us.” 

“Our friends will kill you if they hear you say that.” 

“Well, slight exgerration, but that’s the gist of it. And look what we’ve created.” Aang said, spreading his arms wide, gesturing at the way hundreds of people were gathering in the streets of the fire nation capital in colourful clothes and masks, visiting stalls, eating festival food, playing music, games, setting off fireworks and hot air balloons. “Peace and harmony. Industry and development. We built Republic city together, can you believe that? An actual city!” 

Gradually the color seemed to return to Zuko’s face as his eyes softened into a relenting smile. 

Aang continued, “My point is, I feel as if we’re better when we’re together. I feel like I say this often, but maybe I don’t say it often enough, because I love you. I love you so much, gosh it’s probably a bad thing- this strong of an earthly attachment when I’m suppoused to belong to the people, but heck, I don’t care. I love you- you’re firey you’re incredibly passionate and determined and when you set out to do something you won’t stop until it’s done and we resonate off each other so well- I –“ he paused to breathe- “I was thinking I don’t ever want to spend the rest of my years with anyone else but you.” 

Aang watched the other’s reaction as they were overwhelmed by the onslaught of his affection, and found him utterly speechless by the end of it, but all the blood seemed to have rushed to his face, and the way he crinkled his eyes and his mouth opened and closed to say something but made no sound made Aang’s heart warm.  
He rummaged through his robes until he found the velvet pouch and pulled it out. Undoing a drawstring he unearthed from its depths a metallic gold object that he placed in his palms and held it up to Zuko. 

“I know this might be a bit much, but I wanted to get you something special. It was so hard to come up with the design, and even harder to find a goldsmith whose work I actually liked enough to trust them with the design, but I finally found one in Republic city.” 

Aang held up the golden ring, in the shape of a slender dragon curling into a coil with ruby eyes, and held it up to Zuko. 

“So, firelord Zuko, if you’ll have me, I’d like to humbly ask-“ 

“No!” Zuko exclaimed in disbelief, raising his hands to his mouth. 

“you to….” Aang trailed off, but Zuko seemed to finally understand the gist of it. 

“you can’t possibly be- this is-“ 

“I haven’t even finished-“ 

“but are you certain?”

“What do you mean am I certain? Zuko, please just let me finish-“ 

“But you can’t be serious- how are we going to- there’s never been, at least not in the fire nation-“

“You know what, I firmly believe there’s a first time for everything” Aang grinned. 

“But-“ Zuko said, and Aang paused, realizing Zuko was actually tearing up. It was a rare thing to see Zuko allow himself to express his emotions so openly as he did at the moment, but Zuko stopped, as if gulping down sobs. Aang paused, feeling a little panicked himself to see his significant other so effected by what he was doing. He wanted to drop everything and hug him, since Zuko seemed to be having such a hard time taking it in. 

“You realize… I can’t give you children-“ 

“Who says we can’t adopt?” 

Zuko bit his lip, struggling to retain his composture. 

“Firelord Zuko, will you walk the years with me, and be by my side, always? In other words, Will you marry me?” 

Zuko looked from the ring to Aang’s face and to the side as if it would give him answers, and the hesitation wasn’t helping Aang’s nerves that spiked terribly in his throat as he counted every heartbeat to wait for Zuko’s verdict. 

“… yes…” Zuko replied, and Aang heart leapt to his throat, abandoning everything to leap at Zuko and engulf him into a hug. 

“Lionturtles! Yes ! Oh spirits I was so worried you would say no” Aang exclaimed as he effectively tackled Zuko to the ground, and Zuko visibly winced but smiled up at Aang, who leaned down to kiss him. Zuko’s strong arms wrapped around his torso, and he felt so warm, and so very happy. 

Aang had been flying and wandering all his life, but now there seemed to finally be a place he could call home, arms to rest in when the world was weary, and hands to hold him when he felt alone. Oh spirits, Zuko’s happy throaty chuckle reminded him of a nuzzling cat, and Aang wanted to hear it always-

“Oh no!” Aang paused, with a sudden realiziation, flailing around. “Where’s the ring?”

“Weren't you holding it?" Zuko exclaimed. 

Aang patted all his pockets. “Flying hogmonkeys I’ve lost it!” 

“It must be around somewhere!” 

It took several minutes of them patting around the floor in the dark to finally find where the ring had rolled off to when Aang had tackled Zuko in excitement, and Zuko rolled his eyes as Aang finally held it up to the light sheepishly. 

“Sorry.” Aang said, but took hold of Zuko’s hand to put it on for him. It really looked splendid on Zuko’s fingers, looking regal enough for an emperor. 

“Thank you.” Zuko said softly. “It’s beautiful.” 

“Now that we’re finally engaged-“ Aang said coyly, “surely it won’t be too much of a scandal for me to follow the firelord to his bed.” 

Zuko rolled his eyes again, knowing full well they had already slept together regularly without paying much heed to tradition and propriety. 

“How forward, wanton youth! You should wait until we are joined in matrimony under heaven and earth!” Zuko proclaimed dramatically, like a theatre performer. 

“Oh but I insist!” Aang proclaimed, just as dramatically. 

“hmm, you’re very persuasive.” Zuko replied jokingly. “Very well. I shall overlook the vigor of youth this once. Come hasten forth to my arms.” 

Aang happily lept into Zuko’s arms for the other to carry him bridal style. This would have worked very well when Aang was fifteen, but at present, Aang was taller than Zuko and had also put on a lot of bending muscle, and as a result Zuko staggered under Aang’s weight as Aang wrapped his arms around his neck for support. Nonetheless he took it like a champ and hefted Aang carefully towards the door to find their bedchambers, with Aang laughing and Zuko chuckling warmly. 

“Zuko?” Aang said, more softly as they are engulfed in yellow glow of the lanterns as Zuko finally strode down the long corridors and reached his spacious bedroom, setting Aang carefully on the bed. They could hear the distant boom of fireworks, there is a soft scent of flame of the forest blossoms in the air, and Aang can feel every heartbeat in his veins as Zuko leaned over him. 

“hmm?” The other asked, as he undid his top knot, his long hair let loose down his shoulders like a silk curtain. 

“Don’t ever think I would leave you again.” Aang said, as he wraps his arms around Zuko’s neck, entertwining his fingers together. There is a short silence, as Zuko in the darkness, breathes softly. 

“Duly noted, Avatar Aang.” He says afterwards, and Aang smiles. Aang can feel Zuko smiling as well when he kisses him, their warm breaths intermingling together in the dark. Perhaps Zuko’s issues with anxiety and paranoia will not go away, but Aang can damn well make sure Zuko knows he is loved. 

Because, lionturtles, Zuko meant the world to him, and Aang can tell how much Zuko cared for him as well. 

Even when the years come for them and the weather turns sour, they wouldn’t waver. When rivers change route and buildings turn to dust to make way for the new, when monarchs fall and constitutions are rewritten, Aang knew Zuko would always be waiting for him. When crow's feet adorn his lover’s eyes and his limbs are weaker, and when Zuko's dark silky hair turns grey, Aang would still come home to Zuko, because theirs is a love that will withstand the test of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that exchanging rings is a very western concept, but I found the idea of a dragon ring far too attractive to resist.  
Zuko is an idiot and so is Aang. They deserve each other. 
> 
> Thank you for reading !!


End file.
